Dad time = Mad time.

it's 9:20 in the am on Nov 17th.  the sun has been up with the Roosters baking Encinitas like a scone.  maybe it's a broil.  heat pounds off the concrete and thru the windows.  the santa anna's are up, which means that the air is dry and warm, and the waves are finely shaped by the off-shore breeze and buttery smooth.  Augustella is happily yelping in the background while her toes, just inches from these pages, squeeze an imaginary sponge.  Every once in awhile i pause to rub them and she clamps my fingers with her foot claw.  We've been having a lot of dad time lately while Jenna has been powering through an intense weekend of doula training.  It's worked surprisingly well, the way our schedules collide.  it can be a bit, drop-the-girl-off-and-go, but it's working it's way into normality.  totally a fireman's schedule, minus all the life threat and heroism.  i leave town, get 2 weeks of work done in 5 days, come home and am home, until the next tour stretch 2 to 8 days later.  I get be in a lot of places while not being there at all.  the culture becomes some venue somewhere, off some highway in some town.  being home, watching those toes turn to a timing of their own is a delicacy.  Those toes are growing.  Those hands are cunning.  And we get dirty.  Me, by association with her and her by quick touch exploration.  On Friday night she submerged a nearby tumbler with seven-up and dark rum, that stealthily went unnoticed to my radar until i saw a dripping hand, smacking lips and trail of splash from crime scene to culprit.  On Saturday Morning Augustella Mike Tyson'd a bowl of oatmeal, slopping oats on the both of us during our weekly fellas breakfast at the Potato Shack in Encinitas on I st. and the 101.    As this is becoming a staple in our father/daughter routine, i look forward to introducing her to one of those manhole sized cakes of pan and watching her eyes bounce with syrup and sugar.  On Sunday I got domestic.    The crock pot simmering on low all saturday prior with a homemade chilly potion as evidence of it.  It must have cooked for 36 hours, mingling smoked sirloin, smoked sausage, black beans, chilly, cinnamon, crushed red pepper, port wine, merlot, jim beam and fat tire.  It was a death trap.  A first class ticket to the nearest bathroom!  So good, but so so so bad.  Sunday, football day, chilly day started the way every sabbath should, with some boys, some instruments and Augustella.  She fell asleep in my arms, turned limp and i rushed her home while she slept in her Curly - Lamb - Bow Green Bay Pack onesie for 3 hours while i ate chilly and cheered on the Packers.  Throughout the weekend, Jenna would call to check-in for the eating and sleeping report.  I was very unlucky with solids with the exception of a leaf that Augustella consumed while i was pointing to the tree it fell from.  we are proud to announce that Augustella is still 100% organic.

folding tiny clothes...

i just finished one of my favorite things... folding augustella's little pants and footed jammies and onesies and socks. the load tonight was exceptionally larger than normal because earlier today, i went through the 0-6 month storage bin which hides under her crib, and pulled out new articles that have been waiting to make their appearance in her wardrobe. what really floors me is that she's suddenly fitting into things which less than a year ago, i couldn't envision her ever being big enough to wear. the same little lady that fit into 5-8 pound gerber onesies (which hung loose on her) is now wearing clothes, many given as gifts, that i've been so excited to see her in. i know everyone says that they "grow so fast, enjoy this time," and i have been 100%... but it's still so shocking the day by day, little by little, she's growing and changing so very much.

earlier in the evening, she and i went over to joe and jessica's for fish tacos... as we walked through the front door and were greeted with a chorus of hellos by friends that were already inside, augustella was suddenly a bit overwhelmed and responded with tears and clinging tighter to me. it absolutely melted me... this little human, who is so curious, so amazed by all the new sights, sounds, smells, tastes and things to touch around her but still so tender and in need of the familiar, what's safe and secure to her. one of my other very favorite things about life with august is this... that she fully trusts me. that when she's shaken by something, she's calmed by me. that when she needs something, she's able to communicate it to me without words, but just by acting a certain way or making a noise or showing it in her face. that she's not skeptical or jaded by life... that she truly believes the very best and as far as she is concerned, is content and thinks that all things are as they should be.

it's pure joy to live life as augustella's mom... it's a gift that i don't take lightly.

a is for apples & augustella

and then we attempted apples... from our co-op and made from scratch... oh augustella- someday you'll like them.

let the solids begin

so we started with rice cereal on sunday, october 26... 6 months and 2 days old. here's a look at what she thought about them. (she's got a gag reflex just like her mom and dad!)

a thankful heart...

i'm just really thankful tonight... 48 hours ago, i had a night of disrupted sleep- very on edge with worry and anxiety over these strange stomach pains on the left side that bobby's been having. i couldn't stop crying. he'd been having them for about a week and made the decision tuesday night, to call the on call doctor wednesday morning. i knew it was bad. so tuesday night, i began to listen to voices telling me that he probably had stomach cancer or maybe even pancreatic cancer and i know how bad those two types of cancer are. i started thinking about life without him and i just couldn't handle it. i kept trying to tell myself over the voices- "jenna, stop it. you don't do this. you don't jump to the worst." but the worst was where i was. i fell asleep crying and woke up and cried in the shower. i got to work and cried while sitting in the circle for our weekly staff devotional. i talked to my sister-in-law, nikki, and cried some more. everyone i talked to about it, i cried. i managed to make it through my staff meeting and i'm fully convinced it was because susy, katherine, and nikki were praying for me.
so bobby was at the doctor and thankfully, the doctor he saw listened to him and chose to run tests and not wait around. a urinalysis and a blood draw and an order to head down to la jolla for a cat scan. i met up with him in the parking lot of scripps encinitas and we drove down together.
checked in and got him gowned up and drinking down the barium chloride. lovely. four hours later- the cat scan came back clear. thank you Jesus. so what is it? we don't know. we have a hunch it may have something to do with the unusual amount of nuts we've been consuming on yogurt in the mornings and in salads... or perhaps a viral infection that seems to be going around. we'll see.
so i'm thankful tonight because bobby is ok. he's going to be here to see august turn 1, Lord willing. he's going to continue to walk life beside me. i'm thankful because our daughter has both of her parents basking in her beauty. i've been thinking about the saints that live life in hospitals at the bedside of ill parents, spouses, children, babies, friends... and i'm so very thankful that we've been mercifully spared thus far. and i'm asking God tonight to comfort those men and women... and to help me to bring comfort when and where i can.

just the girls... we like to laugh

bobby is on the road and august and i are hanging out for a few days... sometimes she giggles to no end. tonight we giggled together. i love my daughter... she's amazing.

Augustella talks the Sun into setting

Grunts and a lot of em were heard last night from our little cave troll as her eyes watched the sun burn down into the water.    Twas her first setting sun!

Augustella laments Brett Favre

augustella's song

honoring the baby catcher...

Something pretty neat happened last week... Bobby, Augustella, and I, along with four other couples and their babes, had the chance to have our favorite baby catcher, Dr. Rob Biter, over for a backyard dinner in his honor at Scott and Susy's. Within the past year (between August '07 and April '08), Logan, Sofia, London, Blaine, and Augustella came into the world with the help of Dr. Biter. We parents know each other mainly from church and all just happened to have the same doctor. We wanted to say thanks, so we invited him over for dinner. This might seem like a pretty small thing- but getting five families together AND more amazingly, an obgyn who personally attends to ALL of his patients births was a pretty big deal. The dinner and company was truly sweet... one of those nights that seem to go by quite fast and when it's over, you wish you could repeat it again. Maybe after the next round of kiddos... I have a feeling we'll be adding on a few other friends' families next time around.

augustella goes rolling

babies bring joy

Since becoming a mom... I've noticed something about the general population, men and women, young and old, downtrodden and seemingly happy alike. As I've been out and about with Augustella, I've noticed that people can't help but light up as she passes by, or if they're lucky enough, as we pause in our coming and going. I hear excited comments from little kids who talk loudly with unashamed freedom and see smiles on the faces of businessmen standing in line at Starbucks... perhaps they're thinking about their own children who are at home and how they wish they could be there with them, playing the day away... but know that working to provide is their current lot in life.

I find myself in conversations with people like the airline worked who's pushing a woman in a wheelchair as we ride the elevator together. He asks how old my daughter is... I reply "three months." He lights up and shares that his is a month and a half. I can tell that he's thinking about his little one and giving thanks.

Just yesterday, Susy and I were in the grocery store with Augustella and her son Blaine. The woman behind the counter looked as if her day was brightened at the sight of these two and another customer paid August a sweet compliment. Susy whispered to me that she's been struck by how much people seem to be made happy by babies and I agreed... and I commented on how I think it would be a fascinating topic to write on... and so I did.

My August and Everything After

August and Everything After... this Counting Crows album is one that holds memories of my freshman year on the Ashwaubenon High School track team- sitting on a yellow school bus bench, belting out the chorus to "Mr. Jones and Me" along with fellow female teammates.

Fast forward to my four years spent at Miami where these same Crows found their music laced throughout my Oxford days. Particularly joining me in cars that taxied me on High and Spring and the like and carried me to and from holiday breaks. It was in the later part of those four years that Bobby and I, moving more and more from just friends to love, that many a car ride out to Hueston Woods in the van or the Mazda would hold moments of singing along or just listening or giving our best guess analysis to just what Adam might have meant with the lyrics he penned. August and Everything After and the other albums in the Counting Crows repertoire were much a part of our story... both inspiring and warming us.

And so these Crows have flown with us West for our near seven years of Southern California living... their songs keeping us company on nights at home or out and about in daily life.

August and Everything After has taken on a very literal and real meaning within the past year... in early 2007, Bobby and I talked of starting to try to conceive in August. As we returned home from three weeks spent in Stellenbosch and Kayamandi, South Africa and throughout Southern England, we discovered on August 22 that our early attempts were successful and that the nine months following that August would be marked with much anticipation and change as new life formed and prepared to join us for the rest of our Augusts to come.

As our due date in mid-April 2008 came closer, we made the final touches on the name of our daughter as we chose Augustella Ryan Anderson for her. Sometime in March, it dawned on me that this Counting Crows album was once again, finding its way into my life as quite literally I'd be experiencing my very own interpretation of this beloved album title.

And so here we are... beginning on April 24, 2008 at 7:46 a.m., Augustella cried out "hello" to the world and commenced for Bobby and me what life of August and Everything After would hold.

So as I enter into the adventure of blogging and sharing my thoughts, musings, struggles, hopes, fears, prayers and the like- I'm borrowing the most fitting title for my little piece of the web. Welcome to August and Everything After... so far, it's a beautiful ever after.

The Crafting of a Name...

Augustella Ryan Anderson

Named after the great 2nd century Saint Augustine who still compels us to grace and repentance with urgency... also a month (August) where we (unknowingly 3 of us!) spent two weeks in South Africa, learning about the face of God in beauty and pain in a town called Stellenbosch, which is partly where Ella comes from, and the other part a family name on both sides. Ryan being the middle name of Jenna and the maiden name of Grandma Maureen. Anderson, the family name of her pops.

August- revered, exalted, venerated

Ella- she
Ryan- little king, young royalty

Augustella- The Feminine Revered One

April 24, 2008 . 7 pounds 19 inches of beauty

Day One of Our August and Everything After

they call him swami bob

photo by rusty ralston

3 1/2 week old augustella snuggled in moby wrap

new born pacifier on pinky finger

she's here!